Why I’m Not “Good People”

This is a great read!

Jenny's Library

I’m not a nice person.

I’m not a good person.

I’m not a kind person.

This isn’t to say that I don’t ever try to be any of these three things.  I do, especially the last two.

It’s more to say that, for me, surviving in this cissexist, racist, ableist, heteronormative, classist, often fucked up world of ours has involved rejecting the idea that “good” and “bad” are static states of being.  I will never be a “good person” because, to me, “good” is not something that you achieve.  It’s an ongoing process that never ends.

It is, in fact, almost impossible not to be doing bad things as well as good when you are human and therefore flawed.  Especially when you are part of a messed up system, as we all are.

This, to me, is why it’s important to call out bad behavior, or hurtful language, or even…

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Blogging and Blogger tendencies

“I wish I had Emily Dickinson time so that I can fill boxes with crap I would love to get out of my system.”

-Every writer there ever was

Our brains like to think, even at the most inconvenient of times:

If you are anything like me, you’re mind is never ending. You think so much that sometimes you wake up from your sleep and start jabbering (I actually do this..as odd as it sounds.) Being a holder of such a complex mind can be overwhelming. There are so many things you must remember because you need to discuss them and write you’re feelings based on them. You are a mad scientist (in your head) and you like to think that every blog is your Frankenstein.

Who needs a purse or wallet?…as long as my shirt or pants have a big enough pocket to hold my notepad and pen I’m solid like a stone. 

Ever have a slow day at work and you start thinking about a random subject? Something that really isn’t too important but you NEED to go in the bathroom and write as much as you can in five minutes. I say five minutes because if you stay any longer your co-workers will think:

A: you are pooping.

or

B. You are facebooking.

These are two of the most mainstream ways to use a bathroom, not everyone blogs. (DAMNIT.)

Everything is more significant so us…..

“Becky, isn’t this caramel machiato the epitome of beauty. It reminds me of when the sun is starting to set.”

You better believe that you wrote a small poem about the way your morning tea tasted on the first sip in the morning and that’s your dirty little secret, isn’t it? Becky chugged hers in two seconds and forgot if it was chamomile or chai. Everything has words behind it regardless of what kind.

The book was so much better than the movie.

I feel like you have to be somewhat of a reader in order to be a blogger, so, I threw this one in on a whim. Maybe that fact that a movie can be put into words excites us? Who knows, but what we do know is the book described the main character to be attractive and the movie didn’t emphasize that. So, we left the theatre mid movie and Becky didn’t notice cause she was too busy scarfing her popcorn and junior mints she paid fifty bucks for.

The list goes on for miles.

I will say this:

Regardless of all the odd quirks I have from being a creative thinker, it makes me happier than a duck who doesn’t get bread.

Forever taking notes in bathrooms,

Sierra Lives. 

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Procrastinating: Bad or nah?

Everyone and anyone, at one point in their life complain about how much they procrastinate. Do you procrastinate so often that you hate it? Or do you just THINK that you hate it? Is it a bad habit, or do you just consider it to be? I am a huge procrastinator. Not constantly, but sometimes it takes its toll. I was beginning to ask myself why I do such things. Do I actually hate it? Or do I enjoy the rush?  So then and there, I started some mad research.

Comparing assignment grades *Opera voice engaged*

Being a Sophomore in college I write plenty of essays weekly. I decided to take a look back at old assignments and remember when the times I rushed to write a 5-10 page essay in just a couple hours. Maybe even a hour! Looking at my scores while using my incredible memory (I obtained from being a barista for five years straight..) I began to see a interesting pattern…

The oven only bakes the cake after its preheated:

When a essay would be a week away from becoming due I would mentally warn myself. I knew that I was going to procrastinate and so I thought about the essay constantly while doing other things and I came up with better and more intriguing ways to go about my essay. So, when I went to write all of those thoughts came out just as I presumed. naturally gifted or just a lucky idiot? I’ll leave that for you to decide.

Rush, rush, rush! And to all a good essay.

Last minute words are always the best – My scores were HIGHER on the essays I wrote in a major hurry. Baffled, I was. You are probably baffled, as well. I’m either a genius or something amazing triggers the amygdala when I need to poo a essay out pronto. I find that if I write with nothing chasing behind me, my ideas are stuck inside and– I need a time monster to scare them out.

WARNING: Please do-not attempt the above that you read. 

Just because I am a magical essay unicorn does not mean that you are, too. So attempt at you’re own risk!

Now let’s hash this out. So, procrastinating for me, lets me do things I want and also submit high quality work. But, the major fact here is that it is stressful, no lie. Even when I am in my essay zone and creating my “wording dead” I will admit, somewhere there is a tiny stress ball chilling. He is walking around trying to find the best couch in my brain and asking for cheese puffs.

So maybe, it’s  equally bad and good? Am I the only one who feels this love-hate?

Forever indecisive,

Sierra Lives.

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